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THOSE PEOPLE 4

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CRITICS

I want to mention three sorts of critics.

The Hyper Critic who no matter what will drill in like a dentist on the minutiae of what you have said or done. It doesn’t matter how trivial or obscure the detail is they will rag on it and rag on it like a terrier on a rat. You begin to realise their actions have nothing to do with you it’s all about creating an opportunity for them to talk about what they think and what their opinion is.

They will pull other people in, misquote and misrepresent you and what you have said, so not only do they have a platform they have an audience for what they want to say which is basically a personal attack on you and how the Hyper Critic is right and you are wrong.

The Sniper Critic starts out with you thinking they are going to comment on the opinion, the art, the work, the performance but ends up doing nothing but attacking the person. I remember once reading what was supposed to be a gig review of a well known performer bY a journalist in a respectable, as respectable as they get, newspaper. Three lines in and you realised it was nothing by a vitriolic attack by one woman, the reviewer, on another woman, the performer. 800 venomous words that never mentioned the gig except as a place the writer went.

The Know It All It doesn’t matter what you say or what you do, this person knows better, knows why you are wrong because they know everything about everything. Even if you present them with evidence contrary to what they say, your facts and proof they must and will find a way to remain right.

I don’t mind criticism if it’s warranted. I remember once someone being asked if they had read any of my blog. I knew what was coming so it was no surprise when the person responded they read as much of it as they could stomach and when asked what they thought responded with one word, obnoxious. I do not mind having my work critiqued if the person doing it can show me why they are saying what they are saying and how they think it will help me improve what I’m doing. I do mind when it’s all about attacking the person not commenting on the work.

You often won’t realise you are dealing with one of these until it’s almost too late and you have been sucked into their vortex of negativity and shaming but it’s never too late or too early to sing them the ‘You’re Right’ song ( you’re right, you’re right, you’re very, very right, be happy, be glad and never ever sad becuase you’re very, very right) smile, strike that match, burn that bridge and walk away.

THOSE PEOPLE 3

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THE MISERY

Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.

Albert Einstein

In my experience there are two basic sorts of Miseries, the Passive and The Active.

The Passive Misery is the person who has that mind set where nothing gives them any joy. It’s hard to know if they are born with this attitude or it is a learned behaviour but it’s like their sunshine is constantly hidden behind a black cloud that hangs over their head. They are the sort of people who’s presence can cause other people’s head’s to drop and shoulders to slump. They automatically find the bad in any good news, their own or other people’s.

‘Congratulations! You’ve just won £5,000,000 on the lottery’

‘I suppose I’ll have to pay taxes on it so most will be gone before I see it.’

or

‘John has booked a holiday in Mexico’

‘Let’s hope he doesn’t get sick over there or shot up by drug traffickers’

It’s impossible to get a Passive Misery to see anything but the negative connotation, effects or results of any given situation or action.

Sadly these people tend to be completely unaware of what they are like and the effect they have on people. They don’t understand why people lose patience and lose interest but just accept it is the way life is giving them one more thing to be miserable about.

The Active Misery knows they are miserable, is quite proud of the fact they never think anything good of anyone and see nothing positive in life. Life for them is a hard, harsh place and all their energy is focused on proving it to themselves over and over again and they scan every possible horizon to find things to be miserable about. What’s more if they can’t be miserable for their own sake they will seek out someone or something else they can be miserable for. These are the sort of people who follow tabloid and gossip magazine stories and take up arms on behalf of some C list celebrity because of a supposed insult levelled at them by another C list celebrity.

An off shot of the Active Misery is the Aggressive Misery. Not only are they miserable in their own right but they are determined to make others around them just as miserable. They will do this by; being difficult and disagreeable to get along with, questioning and arguing every little detail in a day, relaying information they think will upset you in some way making you either angry or sad, gossiping about you and even outright personal attacks. Often this sort of thing is done under the guise of ‘For you own good’ because if there is one thing the Aggressive Misery can’t tolerate is the idea of other people not being miserable.

There is not much you can do for A Misery, they either lack the self awareness to know there is a problem or revel in the problem and see no reason to change it. The best thing to do is smile when you strike that match and walk away as that bridge burns.

THOSE PEOPLE 2

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THE ANTI

The ‘anti’ is the ultimate Single Issue Fanatic (SIF), aside from a stray lapel badge or emblazoned t-shirt there are rarely any obvious signs you are about to be cornered by an anti until they are in full flow. Antis have no interests outside of and no topic of conversation besides whatever cause they find their identity from and hold close to their heart. Causes which include but are not restricted to;
abortion
contraception
children:-having,feeding,training,schooling,hands on,hands off  yadda yadda blah blah
being childfree
pets
science
technology
immunisation and vaccination
(animal as well as human)
western medicine
eastern philosophy
Muslims
Jews
Christians
non Christians
God
organised worship
people;
men
women
gay
straight
transgender
of colour, any colour
white
mixed race including relationships from plutonic to romantic
politically left
politically right
liberals
urban people
rural people
farms, farmers and farming
field sports from ferreting and fishing to hunting and stalking
fireworks
cars
money
big business
globalisation
capitalism
communism
government
eating meat
consuming dairy
alcohol
vaping

It doesn’t matter what cause an anti holds dear to their heart there are certain mindsets and behaviours they all seem to share.
Antis don’t like and refuse to accept the world as it is and want to reshape it and they think it should be. This is a scary proposition because antis often sound and behave like teenagers, very spoilt and entitled teenagers.
Antis establish their identity in part if not in total on whatever they are against. They lack the self awareness and introspection necessary to see themselves as an individual not dependant on being part of a group for who they are. Antis will always remind you that they are part of a gang and their gang is bigger and tougher than your gang.
The anti functions in ‘Us’ and ‘Them’ bubbles. Us are the people who agree wholeheartedly, 100% without reservation with the cause, what it means, who’s to blame and how it should be dealt with. Them is anyone else and if you don’t immediately agree with them and their stance you become one of Them, a person to be viewed with suspicion and treated like an enemy of the cause.
Antis don’t do social awareness, they haven’t figured out how to react and modify their behaviour and interactions to produce a good result. Social skills are a mystery to antis who seem to think being loud and abusive is the way to bully people into thinking like them. They certainly don’t do listening.
Antis are always right, completely, totally and unequivocally right, just ask an anti and they will tell you how right they are and how wrong you are.
Antis claim to be politically aware but on closer inspection you realise they think being loud and opinionated is the same as having an understanding of how public policy and agendas are put together, how decisions are reached and put into action. Their understanding of how politics is presented and reported, political bias and the use of propaganda is rudimentary at best.
Added to all this is a Jeremy Kyle interpretation of how one expresses their passion. While most of us progress through our emotions on a topic rather like the family Ford being driven by Dad working our way up through the gears till we reach a reasonable speed the anti goes from 0 to raging like a flappy paddle Ferrari being driven by a boy racer. In anti world if you aren’t yelling, screaming almost rolling your eyes and foaming at the mouth then you obviously don’t care.
If you don’t immediately agree with and support the anti and what they believe to be true, becoming one of them, the first response is to assume you are ignorant about ‘the truth’. You will then be presented with ‘the facts’ You will also be interrogated about why you think differently and why you are so resistant to what is so blindingly obvious to them.
Anti arguments and supporting evidence relies heavily on repetition, rhetoric and hyperbole mainly because closer examination reveals just how little substance there is to these facts and how the information has been manipulated being out of date, out of context and often out and out lies. Since you are one of Them the anti has no problem refusing to consider you may have a point even when you are demonstrating how the material they rely upon and leaders they listen to are incorrect, inaccurate and misrepresenting information.
If you contradict the anti and what they believe, especially if you present evidence to the contrary or show the flaw in their argument, you will be judged ill informed, not understanding the gravity of the situation, lied to, lying to yourself, just plain stupid, some or all of the above.
It goes without saying that everything an anti says and everything they base what they stand for on is completely and totally true and anything to the contrary is false. The only sin worse than disagreeing is not caring. It’s at this point that interacting with an anti moves to anything from uncomfortable, we’ve all tried being polite while moving away, to angry to down right scary.
Antis agree with everything one of ‘Us’ does or says up to and including threats and acts of violence. Their lack of social skills and empathy means they have no problem hurling abuse and insults, making threats of violence and even launching physical attacks against people and property. Those who don’t take part will happily condone, defend and justify the actions of others often resorting to victim blaming because if ‘they would just stop doing what we are against we wouldn’t have to resort to the things we do.’
Most of all antis can not recognise the contradictions and hypocrisies of what they believe, what they stand for and what they do; Anti vaxxers saying they are protecting their children from harm by putting their children at risk because they refuse to accept that Andrew Wakefield’s research and resulting paper were seriously flawed not to mention funded by lawyers hoping to sue the manufacturers of vaccines, recently the vegan anti dairy protestors who describe themselves as peaceful but have threatened farmers and their families including kidnapping children and torturing them to death, the anti government protestors who you’ll never see turning down NHS health care.
For the anti only two things matter, the cause they have invested themselves in and being right even if it means sacrificing honesty, integrity and logic.