Now Reggie was a rooster
with feathers like burnished brass.
He hated all and everyone
and lived to kick some ass.
He’d strut about the chicken run
harassing all the others.
Rumour had it as a chick
he’d eaten all his brothers.
One day the farmer’s wife appeared
intent on gathering eggs.
It was hot. She wore shorts,
revealing ample legs.
Reggie,so just like a male,
could not resist temptation.
He started running at the bait
without pause or contemplation.
For actions always, always beg
an opposite reaction.
If he had known what was to come
he might have paused a fraction.
I don’t know if chickens laugh
or if they can guffaw,
but, at the sight of flying Wife
the whole farm paused in awe.
Reggie struck hard from behind
and well above the knee.
She went screaming through the air
and wasn’t screaming ‘wheeeeeeeeeee…..’
Wife landed in a blooded heap.
Reggie knew he’d gone too far.
She limped away cursing him
and left the hen run door ajar.
The afternoon was deadly still,
the farmyard, eerie, hushed,
knowing this his only chance
to freedom Reggie rushed.
‘That sodding cock has got to go!’
‘I don’ t care how you do it,
and when he’s really good and dead
I intend to stew it!’
‘Ring his neck, chop off his head,
throw him in the river,
but bring his body back to me,
the cat can eat his liver.’
‘Yes dear.’ Farmer quietly agreed
while tending to her bleeding.
He knew better than to laugh
till safely outside weeding.
That evening as she stayed in side,
her injuries were resting,
Farmer checked on all the hens
and found them happy, nesting.
Without the bolshy cock about
peace on the run descended.
Not a one was missing him?
Reggie was offended.
More to the point
outside the safety of the locks
Reggie was a sitting duck
for any passing fox.
That was the big dog’s thinking
as he trotted up the lane.
The security of the run
had always been his bane.
The scent of Reggie in the air
so far, so out of place,
the thought of chicken for his tea,
put a smile on Reynard’s face.
He spent so many nights,
skulking round the yard,
finding Reg was easy stuff
catching him was hard.
Reggie slept high up in a tree
in the middle of the farm.
It gave him just the vantage point
to keep him free from harm.
He knew about the hungry fox,
the cats and weasels too.
He knew that they all fancied him,
as a meal, he would do.
Reggie, in his psycho way
feared none of them, not he.
‘ I know who would always win
in a fight ‘twixt them and me.’
Then came the fateful, moonless night,
Reynard’s chance to try his luck.
It never did occur to him
his plans could come unstuck.
A pallet had been left
leant against the trunk,
it made a perfect ladder
and fox up that ladder slunk.
As Fox began to climb
and up the tree did rise,
Reggie leapt down, spurs outstretched,
and caught the fox between the eyes.
Poor Fox hit dirt
with Reggie still on top,
he didn’t fancy supper now,
he just wanted Reg to stop.
Reggie had his dander up,
he was going for the kill.
The fox was shocked, stunned, confused
and felt a little ill.
Reynard got up off the floor
he knew that he should fight
,but, choose instead to bolt and run
after such a fright.
He started running in a daze,
Reggie clung onto his neck,
it’s not easy hanging on
while you also claw and peck.
With in the house the dogs did bark,
a face was at the window,
Farmer peered into the night
in hopes he’d see the show.
They’d heard the fox and rooster too
as they battled in the gloom.
In bed Wife just smiled and sighed
at the thought of Reggie’s doom.
That morning all about the farm
were traces of the battle;
the smell of fox, broken pots,
upturned feed for cattle.
There was no body to be found,
no corpse he could deliver
Wife was really just as pleased,
though her cat missed out on liver.
On the farm was happiness
for about an hour or so,
then every one froze in place
as the cock began to crow.
Bedraggled but not beaten
he came strutting down the drive.
With horror everyone could see
that damned bird was alive.
His feathers were somewhat askew,
he was extremely battered,
but, Fox was never coming back,
to Reg that’s all that mattered.
He stopped in front of them
and they just stood and stared.
Reg flapped his wings, crowed three times
then turned to them and glared.
The tension, as they say,
you could cut it with a knife.
There was hatred in his tiny heart
especially for Wife.
Reggie planned to take revenge
on everyone who wronged him,
but, being just a flashy chook
he was really rather dim.
BAM!
A single shot,
A puff of smoke.
A gentle shower of feathers.
Reggie had ignored the rule
on which fate will never budge,
Never underestimate
a woman with a grudge.