We’ve all met them, that category of people known as ‘Those people’. You know the sort, 5 minutes in and you suddenly think to yourself ‘OMG, you are one of those.’ There are all sorts of them in the world, some easier to deal with than others and some you just need to cross the road to avoid. Some are just annoying while others are down right dangerous. Knowing who they are, how to spot them and how to deal with them can save you all manner of trials and tribulation.

1 The Lickspittle</

lickspittle: noun –  A person who behaves obsequiously to those in power

Let’s talk about is the lickspittle, the insinuator, the toxic little mole that gets into another person’s brain. It might be in your personal life or in your work, you may have seen this happen in your family or a club you belong to it doesn’t matter where you can see it happening as you watch the lickspittle unleash their weapons of choice; flattery, mimicry, sycophancy. You see what happens to a perfectly normal human being once the lickspittle gets in beside them. You notice the first subtle changes as you watch the lickspittle stroke their ego while whispering little things in their ear. Before you know the person who used to know is looking at you differently and treating you differently. If you enquire as to what has changed they can’t really say or may deny anything has changed though you both know it has. You realise that the lickspittle has been feeding them bits of information and there is just enough truth in what they say to make what they are lying about believable. There is very little you can do because the lickspittle is sly and conniving and never says anything via direct statement. It’s always snippets of information, hints and inferences and those little grains of truth inside the lies means you are constantly on the back foot saying ‘Hang on, I didn’t say that ‘ or ‘Hang on, that isn’t what happened’ When caught out the lickspittle will rely on the fact they have so flattered and wheedled their target even rock solid proof will be disregarded in favour of the lickspittle. The target of the lickspittle has no idea what is happening or has happened because it has all been so subtle. There is absolutely nothing you can do until the target realises what has happened, sometimes this moment never arrives. If you find yourself being drawn into a situation with one of those people, either as the target or as an observers of what is happening, the option you my have is to withdraw as much as you can if not completely from the relationship.

It can be even more difficult for the person being groomed by the lickspittle. Like Grima Wormtongue whispering a Theoden’s ear you don’t even realise how you’re being manipulated. It takes great strength of character to not have your head turned when someone is fawning over you and saying all the things you want to hear, especially when they tell you to ignore the people who may be telling you the truth but it isn’t as pretty as the positive strokes of the lickspittles compliments. Suddenly friends, family, people at work are no longer your friends or to be trusted. You view even your nearest and dearest with suspicion and wonder what it is they really want from you. You can only hope that when or if you break free or are dropped because of a new target acquired you can somehow repair the damage done while under the spell of the lickspittle.

Lickspittles are not bothered who gets hurt or what damage they do so long as they get whatever it is they are looking for whether it is power, position, wealth or just the the jollies from feeling like they are in control. You can’t reason with them and they get too much pleasure from what they do to change their ways. They not worth the stress and pain they cause certainly not worth going to jail for, no matter how satisfying gripping them gently by the throat and squeezing would be. They create a situation so toxic the best  recourse you have for self preservation is to walk as far away as possible and not look back.